Monday, November 22, 2004

I Hate Men (revised)

***This was take down since it was posted prematurely. I needed to make some additions/revisions.

okay not all men, maybe just 80% (or so) of them.
okay maybe not that high of a percentage.
okay "hate" is a strong word, maybe too strong to use.
At an early age, my dad told me to be careful about using "hate" since it conveys very harsh, fierce emotions. Many of the times I won't say "hate" but instead say "dislike" "don't care for" "don't like" etc.

Back to man hating (excuse me, man disliking)...
So I see a teenaged girl, new mom, that's 4 weeks out from delivering her first child.
I need to examine her so she mentions to excuse the "faja" (what do you call it in English?) she is wearing.
"it's kinda tight. see what it's doin to my skin" she points to the red angry skin on the right side of her abdomen.
"my boyfriend wants me to wear it all the time. so I look skinny."
"he wants me to wear it even to bed"

WTF (what the fuck)!
That's what i'm thinking.
Acting in a professional manner, instead I ask "but why? and why to bed?"
He is also going to buy her some cream (that magic cream on TV) that is suppose to melt the fat away. The poor teenaged girl probably already has body image issues; her boyfriend will not be helping the situation by acting this way.

Let's clear up some things about pregnancy and women's bodies.
1) a woman is going to gain weight in pregnancy
so that shapely figure you all desire is going to disappear for some time

2) it takes time for pregnancy weight to come off
unfortunately, celebrities make it look simple
actresses, models seem to lose the weight overnight.
Of course, they have help.
They have the time to exercise insane amount of hours with personal trainers, they have the $$$ to hire nannies so they get the time to do this, they have access to personal chefs to cook nutritious meals (versus fast food pitstops). Their jobs require them to have a certain look and figure. So monetary gain is a big motivation.
The rest of the normal women will take more time to lose the pregnancy weight. Yes, it means watching what you eat and EXERCISE. The weight will not magically disappear without any effort. Squeezing the fat with a "faja" doesn't make it melt away either. It just restricts your body and makes breathing difficult (depending on how tight it is). It can be tough to fit in exercise time with the newborn in the house. Doesn't help that the new mother is sleep deprived and often low on energy. Also, you can't eat all sorts of junk food and not feel its effects. Some women find that breastfeeding helps in losing the weight; another reason to give breastfeeding a try.

Then there is the other issue.
As soon as the baby comes out, it seems men all want the answer to one question.
When can we have sex?

Sex is usually the last thing on a woman's mind. ( She has just squeezed out a 7-8 lb baby thru there.) She is in no hurry to have anything else come out or go in there.

ATTENTION:
Women are not to have sex until 6 weeks postpartum (after delivery)
A woman CAN get pregnant during those 1st 6 weeks if she has unprotected sex.
YOU need some type of birth control if you DON'T want to end of pregnant so quickly.
It does happen, trust me.
One also has to worry about getting infections (STDs) especially if the boyfriend or husband has other sexual partners.
To the men:
STAY AWAY from that postpartum woman. Yes, completely away. No, not just one time.
Well, please wait those extra 6 weeks after having the baby. Don't cause anymore problems. Sometimes there are stitches down there from perineal tears/lacerations from delivery. Give the tissue some time to heal. It is not like men have to go thru 10 months of no sex. Some women still enjoy sex during pregnancy. Depending on her situation, sex will not be harmful to the pregnancy. There are only a few situations where a doctor will tell you NOT to have sex while pregnant.





4 comments:

Aleksu said...

Well, yes, the whole issue is an sticky one, seems like sex ed should be revamped, focus less on the mechanics and more on the emotional-physical link.

You are right, some words do carry a negative energy and is best not to use them too often.

Diana said...

Men, can be animals!! How dare that girl's boyfriend demand she wear a girdle. She should tell him and his mama to wear one and to shove the magic lonja cream up BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP. There definately needs to be more education for women on sex, pregnancy and post-pregnancy.

Aleksu said...

"Man can be animals"

That is why I only date women...

;-)

Anonymous said...

That is horrible. Its bad enough she's a teen mom and now she has to deal with postpardom body image issues. who the f--- is her boyfriend? I think he needs to be taken care of. stripped naked and have his body 'imperfections' pointed out to him in 360 degree mirror.