As we are reaching our maximum altitude, I begin thinking of the days ahead....what i must accomplish. Then sadness sets in.
How do i tell someone they have cancer?
Makes me tearful as I ponder it on the plane.
Should i cry? I don't really care if these strangers see me crying.
If they ask, I'll tell them I'm preoccupied with gloomy thoughts.
Would they care to know more? I dunno.
What's the script? Something like this?
Deliver the message
Pause
Wait for a response......
silence.....
angry words?
tears?
etc......
Then usher them out of the room
after answering any questions.
Next!
I hate that script.....but some doctors must follow a variation of it.
So freakin' cold, frigid, heartless, sterile.
Why must we "alcohol wipe" the emotions in medicine?!
Disinfecting the humanity of our doctor-patient interactions.
Can't bloody the soft, manicured hands of physicians.
I'm dreading this because it's like telling someone that you don't love them.
That they are useless or worthless.
Extreme viewpoint? Perhaps, but that's what it feels like to me.....that's why i was on the verge of tears at some 30,000 feet above ground.
I don't want to inflict this pain on this worthy, noble soul.
A soul seeking my aid, my medical wisdom, my remedies.
I'm suppose to heal, to cure, to help my fellow mankind.
Not bring despair or afflictions. I don't want to do it BUT i HAVE to.
How would you like to be told that you have cancer?
How would I want to be told?
With kindness - a genuine kindness.
With time to question
With time to digest
With time to cry
With time to fear
Tell me with compassion.
Would it be too much to hold your hand? to hug you? to cry with you?
Because I might cry, if you cry, when i deliver the bad news.
But we need to keep hope alive.
Hope together. We must mount a plan - a strategy of attack.
We have to fight until the end.
Because if we don't fight, we will only face regrets.
How do I tell someone they have cancer?
Do I say it emotionless and walk away?
Diagnosis: Cancer
Prognosis: Poor
No one really teaches you how to accomplish this painful task. It is discussed briefly in your medical education/training. I believe it's something you ultimately learn on your own.
Navigating the stormy waters. Hoping you have your life preserver and your flare gun. Hoping someone hears your SOS signals if you emit them. But maybe no one will hear your distress signals. No one will come to rescue you. It is just you and your life preserver and perhaps your rowboat. It is your solitary soul who must paddle your way back to shore.
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2 comments:
You are such a great Dr. I absolutely love the humaness /compassion about you. It takes a lot of nerve to tell someone something like that. I'm sure when the time comes to tell that person you will know what to say. It's in in your healing nature. By the way, damn you your post made me all teary eyed.
that is very bad news to deliver. i think that perhaps giving them time to digest the information before walking them to the door might help. is it out of the question to pay a home visit to deliver the news so the patient could be in more comfortable surroundings and with their family.
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