happy

recently
a relative told me that
i looked happy....the happiest they've seen me

those comments surprised me a bit.
i wasn't doing anything
"extremely exciting" at that very moment
when she said those words to me.
she hadn't even been looking at me for a long time.

but i did pause to think,
to let her comments sink in,
as i smiled at her.

i am happy....probably the happiest ever.
maybe because finally
i'm not worrying so much
i'm not so "lost" anymore
i'm not "hiding" as much
I'm finally Me,
the free Me,
the confident Me who takes more risks.


maybe my new Happiness
comes from a recent voyage.
i came home .... liberated
and at no expense to my nation,
since Dubbya didn't deploy troops to liberate me ;)

but i did return...thinking,
i want to take this city....my city by storm
even if i don't take the world by storm.

after some dark years,
i've emerged happy because
i see the beauty around me.

i've been accused of wearing "rose colored glasses"
but i dont' think that's completely accurate....
i see reality and i see the beauty of this world.
unlike other people,
i don't ignore the beauty.
i choose to acknowledge it......celebrate it.

i've slowed down
and now i'm careful to pace my ambitious/competitive nature
so i don't miss the beauty in my world...
it's a true honor to be living in this world.

if you can't see the Beauty,
maybe it's because
your eyes are closed
or you aren't looking in the right direction/ in the right place.

next time Beauty tries to stop you to say hello
take the time to
look at it
smile at it
touch it
instead of staring at the sidewalk or the stoplight.