I always found it puzzling when some patients would be ashamed of their medical illness.
Some illnesses, like STDs, I can understand why one would be ashamed since there is a stigma associated with STDs/HIV.
But other illnesses like cancer, asthma, diabetes, hypertension, etc, I couldn't understand why someone would be ashamed. Especially considering that sometimes you can't prevent it .....you might be genetically predisposed to it.
Recently I had some bloodwork done after not feeling well some weeks ago.
Now that the results are in.....I attribute my "sick feeling" from the heat and the anxiety from that long-long Sox game.
But I was talking to a dear friend and realized I didn't tell him I went for bloodwork.
As I proceeded to tell him, I did feel some hesistation in saying that everything was okay except X. I had abnormal X. Not too high that I need medication at this time. But high enough that I need to keep working on getting to "goal".
you see....even in this post I can't quite bring myself to say what X is ;)
I guess the shame comes from not being the "perfect" healthy human. Like we can't get sick. If we get sick, somehow we fail as human beings. Or that having illnesses like diabetes, hypertension, dyslipidemia show that we don't know how to take care of our bodies (many people might not if they never received any health/nutritional education) or WORSE, that we don't want to take care of our bodies. Is it that we fear others will look at us and frown that we don't love ourselves enough to be healthy?
Well, I have learned to be more patient with patients. To avoid feelings of "guilty", I never want to scold them for not doing as I say. Several patients have told me that their ex-physicians yelled at them because they weren't at goal for illness X, Y, Z.
Although I'm not to happy about X, I'm grateful for my recent experience because it has helped me understand patients a little better. Sometimes we have to become "patients" too so we don't forget what it's like on the other side of the "doctor-patient fence".
6 comments:
My mom has diabetes and one of the things that pisses her off is when medical staff label her as a "diabetic." She says that diabetes is something that affects her but that is not who she is.
gustavo,
doctors are guilty of labeling patients by their illnesses. i know it's wrong...some doctors know it's wrong. but some doctors still do it. not all doctors have great social skills or a good bedside manner.
i remember finding a patient distraught...crying...because the oncologist(cancer doc) came into the room and said
"you have cancer and you're going to die"
just like that....in a cold cruel manner. i was pissed off that he did that and didn't spend much time talking to the patient. he didn't give this patient a chance to ask questions.
also...i like the attitude your mom has towards diabetes. Yep, she isn't her illness....and she shouldn't let her illness control or limit her life. she controls her life.
just like a commercial i saw where the person said..."i have diabetes but diabetes doesn't have me"
those attitudes make a real difference in how u live your life.
This is good to read.
yeah, i could understand the hesitation. its like being diagnosed as imperfect. you feel like, you are no longer in perfect shape. telling someone about the predicament is placing yourself in a vulnerable situation.
analisa,
i wrote this hoping someone would identify with it....hoping for some dialogue in trying to understand this feeling of shame
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