Unwanted

I've come to accept the possibility that I will never truly belong. Ever since childhood, I have searched for ways or people that would make me feel welcomed. I guess it is something most people yearn for - we want to be loved and appreciated. In my childhood, I viewed my intelligence as a hindrance, but it eventually became a measurement for acceptance in my adulthood. During the early years of education, no one wants to be the nerd or brainy kid since that isn't cool (it is amazing how things never change). Fads come and go but the "It's cool to be smart" fad never came. I loved learning new things so of course I did my homework. Some things came easy like when my 4th grade class was learning fractions. At first I didn't quite grasp it, but after a couple of examples, I took off with it. The rest of the class seemed to struggle with it like it was calculus (now that was hard). By college, the competition intensified. Now it seemed intelligence mattered especially if one was applying to graduate, medical, or law school. Medical school wasn't any different - surprising how mean future doctors can be when they are trying to be number one in their class.

What has prompted all this?
To be continued