Teenage Wasteland or Wonderland

Dang! I was perusing my drafts and stumbled upon this post from months ago. I really wanted to write this but couldn't find the time. Since Father's Day is next Sunday, it seemed like the appropriate time to post this.


When did your parents stop being "your parents"? I don't mean when did you find out you were adopted or that you were really an alien. Also, I don't mean when did your parents disown you.

When did your parents become more than "mom" and "dad"? Growing up, these individuals were "mami" and "papi". We rationalize their existence and their place in the world with respect to ourselves. At some point, we realize that they are people/individuals too (at least that is my theory). Suddenly, mom is a woman. A woman with fears, hopes, dreams, doubts, frustrations, and opinions. She experiences the same emotions as you. She laughs and cries like you. She feels lonely, sad, desperate, and scared like you. (Am I making sense?) She is more than the woman who cooks you dinner, washes your clothes, helps you get ready for school, or sends you to the supermercado. Dad is more than the man who buys you toys, takes you to McDonald's, tells you to help mom, and helps you with your homework.

Well, for me, this "transformation" must have occurred in early high school. Because it happened during my teenage years, I have less regrets. It probably prevented me from getting in all sorts of trouble in high school. Because of a medical illness in the family, I realized at an early age that life is precious, fragile, and temporary. Immortality is an impossibility. The medical illness brought a tremendous amount of stress & anxiety but it also made my family stronger and closer. During this time, I realized I wasn't the only one who was frightened about the situation. Mami and Papi were also in emotional turmoil. Papi was better at hiding it, but I believe he felt it was necessary for the sake of mom and the children. He always found the strength to remain positive and calm even in the bleakest times. I realized my parents and I were more alike (they are human too!) I wanted to develop my relationship with them. I wanted to know more about them, their story as a couple, their individual journeys to the USA, their childhood, their lives. While many teenagers were busy rebelling against their parents, I did the opposite. I enjoyed chit-chatting with mom on the couch or in the kitchen. I relished those evenings hanging out with dad in the front porch. They had been thru so much already that I didn't want to do something stupid which would only cause more heartache. They deserved better than an irresponsible daughter. Prior to my "bonding" with the parents, they rarely spoke about themselves and their childhood. Finally, they started to open up to my siblings and me. There were several "how come you never told me?" moments between us. They were great teenage years.....